I think everyone develops a love/hate relationship with his or her hometown.  Poets write about this relationship, country stars sing about it, and now I’m living it with fervent desperation.  I have spent 22 years living in Cincinnati, going between excruciating restlessness and overwhelming passion for the town, and now my wish is finally my command.  I am leaving to explore new soil, and I have seven days left in the great Queen City on the southern tip of Ohio.  Panic sets in.  There is so much I have to do before I can leave here in peace.  So the bucket list begins… I have to get back to all my old haunts and re-establish that unconditional love of my home so that I can go off and tell every new person I meet, “Yeah, I’m from Cincinnati.  It’s a great town! No cows! You should check it out sometime.”

First stop, coffee shop.  If you go to Cincinnati, you will find a Starbucks on every block (surprise, surprise).  You will think this is your only option for the daily brew.  Do not be tricked.  Instead, head down Montgomery Road toward Pleasant Ridge.  There, in the midst of an area where tough meets charming, is Pleasant Perk.  With local art on the walls and local brews on the counter, this retro yet progressive little café is simplicity at its best.  Make friends with the baristas — all hip ‘Nati locals with a story to tell.  Owner Kim Taylor is a local musician who runs her shop with a groovy, chill vibe.  Go in there more than once and you are a friend.  I was once commissioned to help with a stuck door in the back.  There is none of that “suck up to the customer” nonsense — everyone is just another cool person in these digs.

Come Saturday, I head down to the city’s rocking green market, known as Findlay Market.  In my opinion, a city is only as chill as its best farmer’s market, and this one still holds my highest approval.  It has everything you would expect out of a traditional open-air market, but what is really unique about Findlay is the culture and history of it.  Findlay Market is smack-dab in the center of Over-the-Rhine, recently voted one of the most dangerous areas in the U.S.  The city has a haunting history of racial tensions stretching all the way back to the Civil War and its position as a border town and key stop on the underground railroad.  Now Cincinnatians will argue back and forth over the real threat of OTR, but no matter how shady and threatening the streets may seem on a Friday night, come Saturday, you will find the greatest mix of Cincy natives strolling through the shops and booths.  This is what I love most about it — it is a moment in time where all the economical, racial, and social differences of the people are put aside, and everyone is smiling and friendly.  Live music (usually of the soul/gospel persuasion) is always playing, and the pride of the city is seen in the eyes of both merchants and shoppers.  Cute young hipster couples mix with yuppie families, while the street-savvy OTR locals take a break from playing it rough-and-tough and offer up homemade art and other crafty goods.

In the heart of upscale downtown is Fountain Square where, on Thursday nights during the summer, you can grab a patio bite to eat at Rock Bottom or Via Vite while listening to live salsa music and watching white people embarrass themselves dancing next to sexy young Puerto Rican instructors.  It is all in good fun, though, and you would be advised to take a date so that you can join in for free lessons to burn off your dinner and drinks.   Across 6^th Street is the Contemporary Art Center — an epic building with beautiful quirks — and on either adjacent corner are two new nightlife hotspots.  Nada, my personal favorite, has a super sexy vibe masking an incredibly welcoming environment.  Great Spanish cuisine and killer sangria make for a primo date location…or just a place for friends to scope out the beautiful people.  I made the mistake of leaving my number for a sizzling tattooed waiter recently…who never called.  It’s fine; he’s just not that into me. I get it.  I was more concerned about the fact that I would have to forsake my Nada dining for a few weeks to avoid looking like a stalker.  But if you are so inclined, do it — leave your number for the hot waiters or waitresses.  They are friendly enough that it really won’t be that painful.

Cadillac Ranch is on the other corner and rocks a dance floor and a mechanical bull.  They think they are cool enough to charge a cover now, which I have my own opinions on, but regardless, you will have some laughs watching the skanky girls fall off the bull…always a good time.  Post-dinner, I prefer to walk a few blocks down Vine Street back into the OTR vicinity, where Lavomatic, a charming and decadent wine bar with a thematic twist, gives you a rooftop patio and exposed brick interiors.  When the weather is nice, drinks and dessert on the roof is a killer way to relax and enjoy a setting sun.  They also create gourmet dishes out of local Findlay fare…so go local — support the city!

My words left to this article are numbered, just like my days left in this town.  My bucket list wouldn’t fit into my $30-to-check-a-damn-suitcase at CVG airport even if I tried.  I have yet to go back up to Eden Park, home of Playhouse in the Park and the Cincinnati Art Museum, where a small stony overlook provides the perfect spot to watch the sun rise over the Ohio River and Newport, Kentucky.  Then I have to swing up to Mt. Adams, where the narrow, hilly streets and tightly packed houses are reminiscent of San Francisco, and the architecture is exciting and different.  A drive down Columbia Parkway provides views of the river, the skyline, and everything in between.  Columbia spits out into Marriemont Square, where everyone knows everyone else and you can grab an indie film at the local theatre followed by a scoop at Graeter’s…the absolute best ice cream you will ever have.

Oh, and I haven’t even touched Clifton!  Stomping grounds for the students of the University of Cincinnati, this area has a definitive hipster vibe but is a goldmine for low-key dives.  Ludlow Avenue is an artsy strip with the Esquire theatre — another indie hot spot — and two doors down is Sitwell’s.  Creative, brooding types gather for coffee by day and drinks by night, as this hole-in-the-wall is open late and offers beer, wine, and a selective bar service.  Quotes from poets and philosophers cover the walls, and there is always, inevitably, a group of writers or activists gathered at a table discussing loudly their ideas for truth! And change!

To get outside and get active, there is always a walk across the Purple People Bridge, stretching between downtown Cincinnati and downtown Newport.  Fulfill that lifelong dream of being in two places at once by straddling the state line on the bridge suspended over the Ohio River.  They recently opened a full outdoor bar right on the bridge.  They set it up in the afternoons for evening service, and then take it down when the night is over…then they do it again the next day.  That is some Cincinnati commitment, if ever I saw it.

Just for kicks and giggles, I like to drive through Indian Hill, home of the rich (and some famous), where I play games like “name that home value” (winning ticket thus far $11 million) or “which house does Peter Frampton live in?”  The roads through Indian Hill wind and twist, and the homes, though visions of a mere fantasy for most people, are gorgeous, to say the least.  Windows down and music blaring is the only way to do Indian Hill.  Plus, you’ll frighten the residents, which is always a little fun.

Mission accomplished.  My attempt at a farewell bucket list has successfully left me pining for more time here.  That is the best way to leave something, though — always wanting more.  Needless to say, a trip to Cincinnati comes with my highest recommendation.  We aren’t New York, by any means, and though we progressively consider ourselves within reach of Chicago, it’s a decade away at least. We are, however, a mighty little city with a whole lot of pride.  I’ll have to be sure to make some room in my luggage to travel with that pride, though it may exceed the limits of my shoebox apartment.  Oy, I guess I’ll be making more clothing donations to Goodwill.  God help me for my love of Cincinnati…but Cincinnati, J’taime.