LA Mayor Villaraigosa (Getty Images)

I was never really any good at math (hence, the writing career). All you math whizzes out there, correct me if I am wrong in saying one hour equals 60 minutes? Or, put in other terms, 3,600 seconds? Last I checked, one hour does not equal 60 seconds, right? If my math is right, 60 seconds is one-sixtieth of an hour, right?

If I, a mathematically challenged writer, am able to do my math correctly, how come some of the local politicians and businessman could not figure it out so easily? After all, aren’t we all taught how to tell time when were, say, three years old?

Perhaps I was the three-year-old last Saturday. I naively believed the local mayor (Antonio Villaraigosa) and his business mogul friend (Tim Leiweke of AEG) would keep some of the lights off for an hour. It was a few days before April Fool’s day, but when I looked at my watch one full minute after Villaraigosa asked the lights at L.A. Live’s Nokia Plaza to be turned off, perhaps I played the part of fool a few days early.

I knew something was wrong when I did not have to squint to read the time at 8:31 p.m. After all, all the lights in the area were supposed to be off until 9:30 p.m. If I did my math correctly, that time was about 59 minutes into the future. But I was promised the lights would be off for a full hour, not a mere minute.

Then again, here I was, sitting in the middle of a plaza surrounded by venues named after Nokia, Staples, Target, ESPN and Fox Sports. Oh, there is also a Starbucks, a Yard House, and a few upscale restaurants around as well. It is also a Saturday night at 8:30 p.m. in one of Los Angeles’s hottest new hangout spots. No lights for an hour? What was I thinking?

For the record, March 28th was the designated day for Earth Hour. Participating cities around the world would dim or completely turn off lights of local landmarks and other key businesses for one hour at 8:30 p.m. local time, all in the name of energy conservation. It was kind of a call to arms in the continuing battle between humans and this thing called global warming. In a coordinated worldwide effort, several high-wattage locales would go dark for one hour, serving as a “vote” for Mother Earth and calling everyone to action for climate change.

One hour –- that was all we needed to do. How come we could not last more than one minute?

Now, I could understand dimming of lights. If I was told the lights surrounding L.A. Live would be dimmed, I would not be writing this article. Instead, the advertised action by Earth Hour organizers in Los Angeles is that selected areas would be completely dark -– and L.A. Live, as a whole, was one of those selected areas. Not part of L.A. Live — all of it. For one complete hour.

So why is there a pair of flood lights on at 8:31 p.m.? Why are there televisions still on in ESPNZone? Why are the lights inside the Team L.A. store at Staples Center fully powered? Why is there so much illumination on this small city block one minute into Earth Hour?

Let me provide a little background about why I am ranting and raving. Here in Los Angeles, officials selected strategic points throughout Southern California to go dark for 60 minutes in the name of energy conservation. Some of the selected landmarks in the Los Angeles area included the Santa Monica Pier, portions of LAX, Staples Center, and L.A. Live. Certainly, no one expected the entire Los Angeles metropolitan area to be as dark as the area was, oh, I don’t know, 500 years ago.

But when the World Wildlife Fund –- the group that started Earth Hour in 2007 -– asked Los Angeles to take part in a globally symbolic effort to turn off the lights of selected city icons for an hour, one would certainly expect those lights would be off for, well, 60 minutes. Again, I am no math whiz, but I think that means the lights turned off in the name of Earth Hour would remain off until…well…um…let’s see here…9:30 p.m., right?

L.A. Live

So why were two sets of flood lights flicked on at 8:31 p.m.? Oh, a few photographers with long lenses on an upper-level balcony across the street at Staples Center needed to take a photo of everyone in attendance at L.A. Live just moments after the lights were switched “off.” I guess the politicians need their photo-ops!

Why did L.A. Live tenant ESPNZone keep its televisions on during Earth Hour after they advertised “dinner by candlelight” between 8:30 p.m. and 9:30 p.m.? Oh, it is prime-time on a Saturday night and the themed restaurant is jam-packed with customers who want to watch sports on television. I guess ESPNZone figured losing one hour of revenue in the name of energy conservation was too much to ask.

Why did performers take stage and start singing into microphones with music blaring from a pair of high-wattage, electrically-powered speakers less than ten minutes into Earth Hour? Oh, they were members of a choir at a local church. I guess it would be religious discrimination if we told them they could sing before or after Earth Hour but not during.

While it would be next to impossible — unsafe even — to coordinate a full-scale darkening of the almost 34,000 square miles that makes up the L.A. area, how hard is it to keep a few lights off for one full hour?

Was it really necessary to turn on a pair of high-voltage flood lights just to take a photo of some dignitaries and politicians? Was it really necessary to have live entertainment going on during Earth Hour? Was it really necessary to keep the televisions on in ESPNZone while the customers ate dinner by candlelight? After all, there were plenty of opportunities both before 8:30 p.m. and after 9:30 p.m. to do these same activities.

Oh, how could I almost forget to mention the faux candle lights passed out to everyone at L.A. Live at about 8:15 p.m.? These wannabe candle lights were battery-operated, folks. Doesn’t that kind of defeat the purpose of “energy conservation”?

Am I the only one scratching my head, wondering why everyone hyped up turning OFF a few lights at 8:30 p.m., only to see some makeshifts lights turn ON in its place a mere 60 seconds later?

(Hey, to their credit, The Farm of Beverly Hills, a tenant in L.A. Live, stayed true to Earth Hour –- all of its lights were literally off, and only candles and other fire-lit contraptions were used to illuminate the restaurant.)

But how sad is it when the city of Los Angeles, participating in Earth Hour for the first time ever, turns the lights off for a mere minute before finding a few creative ways to illuminate Nokia Plaza, all in the name of photo opportunities, entertainment and a small profit?

NYC during Earth Hour

I fully supported the concept of selecting a few symbolic locations to celebrate Earth Hour. The notion of almost 80 nations participating in a global event on March 28th at 8:30 p.m. local time (similar to a New Year’s Eve celebration) in the name of climate change is something I could totally support. I could even deal with lights being dimmed instead of being turned off, if that is what is advertised (such as in New York, where city officials said the lights of Times Square would be dimmed, not shut off).

But, if you are going to say “lights off for one hour,” then keep the lights off for one hour. If you are going to promote energy conservation and make a call to action for climate change, then do not use battery-powered faux candle lights.

I know Los Angeles has an unfair reputation of being “fake” and placing a high premium on entertainment value, photo-ops and the consumer experience. Heck, sometimes the city gets a bad rep for contributing to noble causes just to look good in the eyes of others. But the one time us Angelenos had an opportunity to actually do something worthwhile and show the world we are deserving of being one of the greatest cities (despite the illusions against us), we play right into the stereotype of prioritizing style over substance, glitter over greatness, Hollywood over humility.

Welcome to the new math. I guess one hour is officially 60 seconds in length.