Once again, I am writing a review roundup of flicks that could not be more different from each other. When I have an MPD movie-day like this, I can’t help but play little games inside my head…like, What would this movie be like if helmed by that director? I’d love to see Religulous directed by Baz Luhrmann; Australia done by Ryuhei Kitamura; and The Midnight Meat Train from Larry Charles!

But fortunately, the movies, as done by their correct directors, are every bit as entertaining as the ones I imagine. Each is a winner in its own right.

Australia

Aggressively imaginative, romantic, and lavish-loving director Baz Luhrmann said he dreamed of making the Australian Gone With the Wind, and so he has. But perhaps he did it too well. Like the 1939 classic it adores, Australia is stiltedly comical, sweepingly starry-eyed, and melodramatic in its approach to war and racism. If you look at Australia with a basis of knowledge of film and can recognize and accept its homages, then I think you will like it. If you’d rather see something very modern and politically correct, then you definitely aren’t a Luhrmann veteran.

When I saw Luhrmann’s debut movie, Strictly Ballroom (part one of his “Red Curtain trilogy”), I didn’t quite get it. He won me over with his take on Romeo + Juliet, and I became a true Baz-spaz in 2001 when Moulin Rouge! came out. I saw it in theaters four times, and of course own it on DVD. Needless to say, I was pretty excited for Australia, and curious — it would be the first non-musical movie from Luhrmann. Although Australia indeed isn’t a musical, it’s built on the foundation of one: The Wizard of Oz.

The story follows privileged Brit Lady Sarah Ashley (Nicole Kidman) from her fancy digs in the UK to a wild and woolly Australia and Faraway Downs, the cattle farm owned and operated by her recently-deceased husband. When she arrives, she gets quickly embroiled in the aftermath of the murder and falls for a strapping, no-frills cowboy, Drover (Hugh Jackman). At the center of it all is Nullah (Brandon Walters), a half-Aboriginal boy from whose soulful, sparkling eyes we see everything. This childlike perspective certainly helps excuse the movie for a lot of its naiveté and excess.

Perhaps with a nod to The Thorn Birds miniseries of yore, Bryan Brown plays a major role in this saga, and he is excellent. David Wenham is the baddie, and he’s a character you will truly love to hate — all that’s missing is a mustache to twirl. Negative reviews of the theatrical release of the movie cite a lack of chemistry between Kidman and Jackman, but I disagree: Although the dynamic isn’t as electric as her pairing with Ewan MacGregor in Moulin Rouge!, the lady and the gent enjoy a believable enough vibe from their adversarial beginning to their happy ending.

It’s a truly beautiful film, shot entirely on location in the gorgeous county. Sweeping and emotionally manipulative, Australia is hokey and hooking, just like a good, old-fashioned soap opera epic should be. Brilliant, cheeky, silly, sappy, sweet, and engrossing all at once, Australia ask a lot. It asks a lot for fans, as well as newcomers to Luhrmann’s lair. I have to admit the movie tried my patience once or twice, but as The Duke said in Moulin Rouge!, “Overall, I like it!”

DVD Extras Include :

Deleted scenes

Religulous

Director Larry Charles, who rose to fame with a mockumentary called Borat a few years back, returned to the big screen with comedian and social commentator Bill Maher to examine culture and religion in this Left-slanted documentary, Religulous.

The movie sets out with an agenda and makes no attempt to hide it: If you are religious, Religulous will not suddenly have you disavowing your faith, nor will it hold any surprises for atheists and skeptics. It seems like pointless entertainment, until the ending in which Maher asks non-believers to come out and be as “evangelical” as the fervent followers he skewers throughout the film.

Traveling all over the world — from Salt Lake City to The Vatican to The Holy Land in Jerusalem — Maher interviews everyone from rapper Propa-Gandhi to Mark Pryor, a junior U.S. Senator in Arkansas, and a believer in Creationism. Maher visits a Christian theme park and even goes inside a cannabis ministry and partakes of the holy herb. He interviews wives of polygamy, gay Muslims, a pope who shucks his collar and skewers “cafeteria Catholics,” and a self-proclaimed scholar who insists many of our world leaders are actually shape-shifting lizards from outer space.

Maher and Charles freely admit that they obtained most of their interviews using deceptive means, and once again, no attempt is made to hide it. Religulous is an unapologetically one-sided film, but if you’re on that side, you’ll definitely find it entertaining. As an avid watcher of Maher since Politically Incorrect and continuing with Real Time and his HBO stand-up specials, I have to admit I loved Religulous. It’s not for everyone — but if it’s for you, you already know it and probably don’t even need this review because you will have already taken Religulous on faith.

DVD Extras Include:

Commentary
Deleted scenes

The Midnight Meat Train

Based on Brit horror maven Clive Barker’s slushy short story of the same name, this outrageously gory and mean-spirited film is definitely on the right track. After several (mostly poor) attempts to adapt the writer’s work for the screen, The Midnight Meat Train accurately captures Barker’s blatant, blunt brutality which is complimented by his trademark, slightly-arch dialogue and flair for despair. It only falls short when it comes to a climax which over-does Barker’s penchant for plotting which relies on the insidious burrowing of unearthly, scarily intelligent creatures into our everyday lives.

The Midnight Meat Train unfolds as a failing freelance photographer stumbles upon a crime in progress, and he starts to become an obsessed cross between Weegee and Jack Torrance. Leon (Bradley Cooper), in true “If it bleeds, it leads” fashion, finds his footing in a puddle of blood and moves onward and upward in his career.

Unfortunately, it is not his chosen career: fiendish fate has a different destination in mind for him, and its conductor is a bad-ass butcher known only as Mahogany (Vinnie Jones). As Leon falls into the downward spiral of this wicked otherworld, his fiancé (Leslie Bibb) and best friend (Roger Bart) become proactive and try to find out what’s behind Leon’s sudden turnabout. Leon’s level of fixation is reminiscent of characters from movies such as The Tenant, Se7en, and Zodiac, even though the world depicted here doesn’t quite carry the same weight as those.

About as subtle as Mahogany’s silver hammer, the symbolism and foreshadowing is everywhere you look. It’s difficult to pull this off without being laughable, but for me it only heightened the horror. At its black heart, it’s the story of an unknowing apprentice being sucked in as a successor to an age-old supernatural or alienistic death trap (think: The Sentinel, The Shining, The Hitcher, and even that old Twilight Zone episode, “To Serve Man”), but outwardly, it’s a gruesome and gory red-stuff slasher.

Good stuff, and it looks smashing on DVD.

DVD Extras Include:

Unrated Director’s Cut
Commentary
Anatomy of a Death Scene
Inside Mahogany