Perhaps in a pairing more strange and scintillating than Felix and Oscar themselves, modern concept rock kings Coheed and Cambria will embark on a three-month tour of the States with none other than masked metallers Slipknot.

That’s right, Slipknot.

Don’t believe me? Well, too bad. I’m a journalist and you have to believe everything I say! Also, it was confirmed by both bands’ websites.

Coheed and Cambria recently came off of their Neverender tour, which saw them playing to ravenous audiences all over the country, viscerally hungry to catch one of the group’s sets where each night the band would treat their fans to an entire album’s worth of material, front to back.

The tour will also mark the return of Slipknot to the United States to finally support their #1 smash album, All Hope Is Gone.

In any case, the All Hope Is Gone tour should prove to be quite eventful, with Slipknot label mates Trivium joining the stage with these modern gods of rock to round out the lineup in an outing I wish had been dubbed the “Co-knot and Slipheed Tour.”

Alas, this is why I don’t work in marketing…

The All Hope Is Gone Tour Dates:

1/23/09 – Xcel Energy Center – St. Paul, Minnesota 
1/24/09 – Sprint Center – Kansas City, Missouri
1/25/09 – Mid America Center – Council Bluffs, Iowa
1/27/09 – Alliant Energy Center Memorial Coliseum – Madison, Wisconsin
1/28/09 – Wells Fargo Arena – Des Moines, Iowa
1/30/09 – Allstate Arena – Rosemont, Illinois
1/31/09 – The Palace of Auburn Hills – Auburn Hills, Michigan
2/02/09 – Peoria Civic Center – Peoria, Illinois
2/03/09 – Pepsi Coliseum – Indianapolis, Indiana
2/05/09 – Madison Square Garden – New York, New York
2/06/09 – Tsongas Arena – Lowell, Massachusetts
2/07/09 – Susquehanna Bank Center – Camden, New Jersey
2/09/09 – Greensboro Coliseum Complex – Greensboro, North Carolina
2/10/09 – Cricket Arena – Charlotte, North Carolina
2/11/09 – Bi-Lo Center – Greenville, South Carolina
2/13/09 – 1st Mariner Arena – Baltimore, Maryland
2/14/09 – Rupp Arena – Lexington, Kentucky
2/15/09 – Sommet Center – Nashville, Tennessee
2/17/09 – Gwinnett Center – Duluth, Georgia
2/18/09 – UCF Arena – Orlando, Florida
2/19/09 – Pensacola Civic Center – Pensacola, Florida
2/21/09 – Concrete Street Amphitheater – Corpus Christi, Texas
2/22/09 – Nokia Theatre – Grand Prairie, Texas
2/23/09 – BOK Center – Tulsa, Oklahoma
2/26/09 – Verizon Wireless Theater – Houston, Texas
2/28/09 – El Paso County Coliseum – El Paso, Texas
3/01/09 – Freeman Coliseum – San Antonio, Texas
3/03/09 – Denver Coliseum – Denver, Colorado
3/04/09 – Tingley Coliseum – Albuquerque, New Mexico
3/05/09 – Jobing.com Arena – Glendale, Arizona
3/07/09 – The Forum – Inglewood, California
3/08/09 – Cox Arena – San Diego, California
3/10/09 – Citizens Business Bank Arena – Ontario, California
3/11/09 – ARCO Arena – Sacramento, California