This weekend, San Francisco played host to the Red Bull Soapbox Race for the first time in the event’s eight-year history. Since its inception in Belgium in 2000, Red Bull has run over 35 races in almost 30 countries, contributing to what I can only imagine is a multitude of hay-bale-related injuries. For one afternoon, Dolores Park in San Francisco’s Mission District was transformed into a veritable Roman colosseum, pitting uncertain gladiators against the unstoppable forces of speed and gravity. The drivers, fueled by equal parts adrenaline and taurine, would risk their lives and limbs for the roar of the crowd; the tumultuous mob, 100,000 strong, spread like a riotous sea in all directions. The air was thick — palpable with nervous excitement.

The rules of the competition were simple: teams of up to six people must create an original soapbox car not to exceed predetermined dimensions, operating solely under human power, and race it to the end of a four-block course, all the while crashing fewer than two times. Sounds modest enough, right? The Red Bull Soapbox Race, however, is not merely a contest of speed. The judges also count creativity and showmanship, encouraging the ridiculous and absurd at every turn. Somewhere in between performance art and genuine athletic competition, the race boasted a roster consisting of everything from a giant squid to human-sized hamster wheels, to San Francisco’s famous Transamerica Building. Some were graceful, racing by in a flash, over the jump, and through the finish line — hitting top speeds of almost 40 miles per hour along the way. Some were less elegant — wobbling, swerving, and staggering down the course, much to the delight of the raucous spectators.

After being at the event for only a short time, it became clear that the race itself was not the only spectacle. A record crowd packed Dolores Park, spilling out and filling the streets, the trees, and the tops of nearby buildings. Everywhere you looked, bodies were clamoring to get a better view. In the park center, spectators drinking from nondescript plastic cups cast their gaze upwards to one of four giant screens, as monolithic banks of speakers belted out theme songs of the individual teams. In the fray, Red Bull Girls wandered, handing out free energy drinks, as well as a desperately unpalatable new concoction called Red Bull Cola.

While the combination of 100,000 screaming San Franciscans, a bottomless well of Red Bull, and 33 teams piloting dubiously constructed carts at breakneck speeds down Dolores Street may seem like a recipe for disaster, the truth is anything but. Between the skits, the music, team interviews, A-list celebrity judges (okay, not quite A-list), and a myriad of ludicrous vehicles, outfits, and spectators, the Red Bull Soapbox Race is not to be missed. Although the noise, density, and somewhat (how can I put this gently?) liberal chemical make-up of the crowd may be off-putting to some, the atmosphere was generally one of wholesomeness and frivolity.

In the end, Team Trash claimed victory over the field, piloting a souped-up, miniature garbage truck. As the grand prize winners, the team of real-life garbage-men from Pinole, California will garner a “VIP NASCAR experience with Team Red Bull,” although exactly what that means remains unclear. Taking the prize in the People’s Choice category was Team Rubik’s Projects — a clumsy yet lovable homage to the Rubik’s Cube, and by far the least aerodynamic of the entrants.

I would roundly encourage anyone with the opportunity to attend a future Red Bull Soapbox Race to do so. But be prepared — this isn’t granddad’s soapbox derby. It’s wild, silly, and frequently confusing. Though I could spend hours extolling its virtues, there’s really only one thing of paramount importance which we must take away from this: stay away from the Red Bull Cola.

* The Red Bull Soapbox Race had stops in Philadelphia (September 6th), Cincinnati (October 4th), and will round out its American tour in Denver on October 25th. For additional information on past and upcoming events, visit the website.

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