In 1962, Alfred Hitchcock turned on his TV and spotted an unknown actress named Tippi Hedren shilling for a diet drink. Taken with Hedren’s beautiful blonde looks, he put her under contract, flew her to Hollywood, and made her the star of his newest film, The Birds. And the rest, as they say, is history…

Forty-five years later, The Birds still keeps viewers on the edge of their seats. In honor of the film’s 45th anniversary (and just in time for Halloween), Mattel has created The Birds Barbie. Just like the character in the movie, The Birds Barbie is dressed in a sage green Edith Head suit, her face flawlessly made up, and her hair perfectly coiffed (except, that is, for the raven that’s taking a chunk out of her skull).

While The Birds Barbie does bear a striking resemblance to Hedren (a copy of the doll was even presented to the actress at a recent 45th anniversary screening of The Birds in Hollywood), I still can’t help but wonder who in their right mind would actually purchase the thing?

It kind of looks like something Steve Carell’s character in The 40-Year Old Virgin might purchase and keep in its box for posterity (and we all know how creepy Steve Carell’s character was with his collectibles).

I definitely can’t see a parent buying this for their daughter (unless, of course, said parent doesn’t like their daughter and enjoys scaring the bejesus out of them).

While Mattel may not make a ton of money out of this creation, I do say, however, why stop here? I think they’ll get a bigger bang for their buck if they go all out and create a full line of Hitchcock Barbies inspired by some of The Master’s finest works:

• Psycho: Ken dressed as Norman Bates-dressed-as-mother-Barbie;
• Rear Window: Ken as Jimmy Stewart in a wheelchair, or Skipper as Miss Lonely Hearts;
• North by Northwest: Ken as Cary Grant pursued by an airplane, or Eva Marie Saint Barbie hanging off a miniature pink Mount Rushmore;
• Marnie: This Barbie can come with blonde and brunette wigs, a suitcase full of cash, and a gun for shooting horses;
• Dial M For Murder: Grace Kelly Barbie wearing a flimsy nightgown ready to receive an ill-fated phone call, but fortunately she has scissors nearby;
• Vertigo: Here, Barbie’s accessories include a brunette wig, a slutty change of clothes, and only one necklace.

Ahhh, Barbie. She’s been a flight attendant, a veterinarian, an astronaut, and even President of the United States. Now she’s a muse for one of cinema’s most daring and talented directors, and, I say, rightfully so. After all, it was no secret that Hitchcock liked his actresses tall, striking, and blonde.

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