NORTHRIDGE, California — Say it ain’t so, Bart!

Nancy Cartwright with World Poker Champion Jerry Yang

Driving at speeds exceeding 150 miles per hour, well-positioned Vodka bars and just plain drinking, smoking big smelly stogies, big-time gambling in every form imaginable, poker in all its variations, roulette, Black Jack, unending food and music, beautiful women and handsome men all participating in wild and decadent behavior as the police looked on in approval…in fact, even encouraging this wild and decadent behavior on a balmy Saturday night in Southern California.

The last blast of the summer? Nope, there’s an explanation for it all, so “just cool your jets, man!”

The speeding? Courtesy of Motion Pro Racing Simulator. I did see Bart Simpson, aka Nancy Cartwright herself, take that thing for a nasty high speed spin! It turns out our hostess is a NASCAR driver in her spare time! It also turns out that our hostess is a major philanthropist, with one of her projects being Devonshire PALS, an organization sponsored by the LAPD to aid “at-risk” kids.

This isn’t the first time that Nancy, the iconic voice of Bart Simpson and Honorary Mayor of Northridge, hosted Monte Carlo Night at her home. All profits from the event will go to Devonshire PALS. The last two years’ events helped to raise the funds needed to build a new Youth Center for at-risk kids. Groundbreaking is expected to take place by Summer 2008, and with the turnout at the event this year, it’s possible to see why this project is successfully moving ahead.

This year’s event didn’t start once you got inside Nancy’s gated compound but outside with the valet parking. I know that’s sounds impossible, but the first thing to catch your eye was the biggest, hottest hot-pink customized Hummer requiring an escalator to get into it, with the license plate reading “ALOTTA.” With the sounds of music and partying going on in the distance, maybe “ALOTTA” said it all.

While checking in, I practically gave myself whiplash trying to see what was going on inside every time I could peek inside. Finally, I was in. Wow! It was like walking into Rustic Hollywood done in the style of Knott’s Berry Farm for adults. Armed with tickets and chips, the fun started as soon as you wanted it to.

In one direction was an elaborate three-story scaffolding that looked like an erector set where there was a band playing called Music Connection. The music was good AND not so loud that you couldn’t talk to people around you, and there were plenty of friendly people who wanted to talk enthusiastically about the PALS program they were supporting. In front of the band were beautifully appointed tables following the black and red motif of the evening — lots of tables because there was lots of food, lots of entertainment, and lots of fun throughout the evening. Maybe that’s what the “ALOTTA” license plate was telling us.

Before even getting to the gambling, there was a race car simulator where it was possible to test drive at speeds as high as you could get the pedal to the metal.

Unfortunately, I kept going off the course and taking short cuts across the simulated grassy areas. I knew I wasn’t going to win the prize of a 40-lap pass at Irwindale Speedway. I wasn’t even going to get a free lap dance, at the rate I was going.

Just a few yards away, set in a grassy knoll, were the Black Jack tables — something I know about — so that was next. I know about the color of chips too. These people were serious. As long as the money was going to a great charity, I stood there and watched in support. While I was standing there, I knew I smelled cigars. I also knew that George Burns died years ago, so it had to be something else. There it was, in a shady grotto — a cigar bar! Being that l love cigars, I went over and breathed deeply…and, coughing, I headed back to the main party.

Kato Kaelin plays a little poker

What next? The silent auction table and raffle items — all for charity. In between sets on stage, these items were awarded to the lucky ticket holders.

Strolling past that, I saw that Vodka bar. I kept strolling.

I wanted to see the “real” poker players. And boy did I. At the far end of the property were a myriad of tables of intense players and figures being called out, like $5,100 on the hand. I had no idea what that meant; I guess I should have chosen to attend the “poker college” that had been set up to help you learn the game. The atmosphere was really like an outdoor casino — staff buzzing everywhere with drinks being served, poker chips being doled out, friendly, mild banter between everyone…but a certain tension in the air. And all for charity.

I passed one of the many buffet stations. There was any kind of delicacy you could think of, and the really smart thing was that the food proportions were manageable, like wonderful little steak sandwiches with caramelized onion that didn’t require a personal commitment. Just enough to take the edge off and let you get back to gambling or placing bids on the auction items. Or you could take your plate and sit at one of the tables and listen to the music and plan your next move.

Young Explorers Color Guard

Just as dusk approached, there was the color guard of the young PAL members and the singing of “The Star Spangled Banner.” A slow, respectful silence came with the setting of the sun. Dominic Domingo, Placido Domingo’s grandson, came on stage, after the presentation of the colors, to sing a capella. With just his stunning voice to be heard, it was a very thoughtful momentary break in the festivities. The PALS members looked very young, proud, serious, and respectful in their uniforms while escorting our flag.

Our “Star Spangled Banner” remains ageless. With this dose of heartfelt reality, the party slowly came back to life and was ratcheted to new heights!

The partying continued for hours with dining, dancing, live entertainment, and POKER! Once again, a huge success…and all in the name of charity!

LAPD Devonshire PALS
Nancy Cartwright.com

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