By: Rhana Kennedy

While my friends saw the advent of technological wonders such as (gasp!) cordless phones and Walkmans, my house was like the wax museum for everything pre-1981, except for the computers my dad lavished us with.

We did not have a microwave until 1986. I groaned every time I had to warm something up on the stove or, God-forbid, wait 30 minutes and heat it up in the oven.

We did not have a VCR until 1986, when my parents purchased a Pioneer VCR. I was finally able to watch movies when my friends came over. No more going to the local video store and renting a video player. Dad almost bought a Betamax. This is also the same man who came inches to purchasing a laser disc player.

Up until 1989, our family television was a 1970s, 30” (maybe it wasn’t even that big) Zenith hand-me-down from my aunt. Since we didn’t have cable, the reception was terrible. The TV was armored in foil — bunny ears and any other antennae we came across at Radio Shack. We constantly hit the side of the TV to coax images on the screen. During our most favored shows, I held a very esteemed position –- antennae holder. Mom and Dad would have me stand in various places around the TV holding the bunny ears. My arms were up, down, to the left, to the right. I was sitting down, standing up, leaning against the wall… It was a frustrating situation for everyone. My parents could barely watch the evening news through the snow that canvassed the screen, and my muscles ached as if I’d endured the Ironman Triathlon.

But I didn’t care. I did it for love.

They say that the “golden age” of television was during the late 1940s to the early 1960s, but in our house, during the 1980s, the “golden age” of television was experiencing a renaissance.

I was a latch-key kid then, and my alternate reality was television –- it was my best friend, confidant, and parent. I was possessed by television.

There were shows that I could do without, like Knots Landing (William Devane rocks, but there were too many mushy love scenes my grade school intellect rejected) and Small Wonder (I have no words — except “why?”).

But then there were the shows that united my family — the ones we scheduled our lives around. We gathered around our television and sat quietly during the show as we were mesmerized by special effects, fast cars, and human emotions that we couldn’t verbalize but could live vicariously through our TV spirits.

Commercials were a mad rampage to the bathroom, the refrigerator for milk or soda, or the pantry for potato chips. Chaos ensued until the show came back on and everyone sprinted to their seats and fingers immediately pressed to the front of our lips –- “shush!” and “quiet!” streamed out of our mouths.

We giggled in exuberance when a small egg came out of Mork’s belly button and kept growing and growing until Mearth emerged. I daydreamed that one day, Jonathan Winters would join my family as my little brother. He never came.

The theme song to The Greatest American Hero still resonates in my ears. I think I can even sing the song still…nevermind. I don’t even think I know the right words, but I can certainly hum it.

The three of us leaned forward on the sofa, our hands wringing with anticipation as MacGyver used gum, duct tape, and whatever else he could find to escape the most dangerous of situations. Hey, didn’t MacGyver make a helicopter out of bamboo, or was that just a rumor I started in middle school? Well, if he didn’t, I’m sure he could.

We were bewitched with the poetry of Daniel Stern’s narrations as we experienced Kevin Arnold’s life through his adolescent stories of love, humiliation, and the painful candor of his dysfunctional family.

My pre-pubescent angst and my parents’ career and financial headaches were left at the door. We cheered, high-fived, hugged, and laughed. It was a great time, even if it was for a few hours a day.

Fast-forward 20-plus years.

There are still those shows that I just have to watch: 30 Rock, Lost, 24, Dexter, Burn Notice, Grey’s Anatomy, Heroes, Ugly Betty, Eureka, Desperate Housewives, Entourage, Top Gear…but there’s no anxiety and regret from missing a show now. If I’m too busy working on Thursday nights, who cares? I just jump on my Mac and go to NBC.com or Hulu.com and watch the entire season of 30 Rock.

I can go to iTunes and download missed episodes of Entourage, Rescue Me, Mad Men, and The Hills (that is, if I even cared about Lauren’s tribulations in Hollywood and whether or not Heidi and Spencer are together -– they are so not right for each other) onto my iPod Touch.

I’d probably also TiVo shows, if we had TiVo. No commercials –- love it! However, we decided six years ago not to get TiVo because I was afraid I would never leave the house. Ahhh –- the innocence of youth.

I can choose from an arsenal of technological wonders to fulfill my media fix –- not just TV shows but movies too.

Netflix has the Roku, and later this fall the LG BD300 Network Blu-Ray Player and Xbox 360 will allow me to stream movies directly from Netflix onto my TV.

I can easily rent movies, peruse YouTube videos, TV shows, podcasts, and music videos with AppleTV.

There are a more than enough file sharing and peer-to-peer (P2P) websites that allow people from all over the world to share MP3s, MPEGs, and MOVs. BitTorrent and Kazaa offer free downloads from their vast catalogs of music, TV shows, movies, and games. The once-reigning king of P2P websites — Napster — now requires a monthly membership to download unlimited music.

There are cell phones, iPhones, and smartphones galore. Who needs to wait for Netflix to send out the unrated DVD version of Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo when I can download it onto my iPhone and watch it standing up in the closet if I wanted to? Well, I don’t have an iPhone, but I know where to get one if I decide my Blackberry just isn’t doing it for me anymore.

We are bombarded with the conveniences of technology and I don’t feel guilty, except for the fact that I feel estranged with our television. Okay, okay — we have more than one TV in the house –- make that a TV in every bedroom.

Sure, I still watch some TV from the sofa. What do you think I’ve been doing since the Olympics started? The truth is, I would have been content with watching video highlights from the Olympics, but NBC is Macist and only allows downloads onto PCs.

Perhaps I’m a hopeless romantic, but maybe when the new season of Dancing With the Stars starts September 22^nd, the family and I will unite in the living room. We’ll have bowls of popcorn and pitchers of water to energize our bodies. We’ll dance and tap our feet to the music. Our jaws will drop and our arms will rise above our heads while we pump our fists.

Or maybe the kids will gleefully watch Avatar on their TV while they wrestle each other for some toy they forgot they had, my mother-in-law will retreat to her room and switch between truTV (previously Court TV) and DWTS. The husband will scoff and gather in his corner office and scan YouTube for any new Robin Trower videos, and I will scurry to my office, go to CBS.com, and secretly catch past episodes of The Young and the Restless. That’s right. I said it –- Y&R. I’m not ashamed. Just don’t mention it if you ever see me because I will deny it vehemently. I can also revel in old episodes of MacGyver on CBS.com.

Oh hazaa! The world is a wonderful place.

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